Santa Jokes again

1 DIN 1 DAKU 1 SARDAR KE GHAR MEIN GHUS GAYA AUR BOLA "SONA KAHAN HAI?"
SARDAR BOLA "ULLU KE PATTHE. PURA GHAR KHALI HAI, KAHIN BHI SOJA.."



AN ASTRONOMER WAS WATCHING THE SKY FROM TELESCOPE. A SARDAR WAS OBSERVING HIM.
SUDDENLY A STAR FALLS. AFTER SEEING THAT SARDAR SAYS "WAH KYA NISHANA HAI".



SARDARJI'S SON : OYE PAPAJI.... BAHAR DARWAJE PAR KOI SWIMING POOL KE LIYE DONATION MANG RAHA HAI....
SARDAR : PUTTAR , USKO EK LOTA PAANI DE DE...



BAAP BETE SE.
"TUMHE KAISI BIWI CHAHIYE?"
BETA: "MUJHE CHAND JAISI BIWI CHAHIYE, JO RAAT KO AAYE AUR SUBHA CHALI JAYE."



IN A SARDARS GARMENT STORE 1 DAY A CUSTOMER COMES IN & SAYS " BHAISAAB! UNDERWEAR DIKHANA ZARA"
SARDAR - "OYE! SORRY YAAR -AAJ PEHNA NAHI.."



SARDAR "YAAR! YE MURGI KE BACHE ANDE TODKAR BAHR KAISE AA JATE HAI?"
2ND SARDAR : "OYE! PEHLE MANU YE BATA YE BAND ANDE ME GHUS KAISE JATE HAI."


SARDAR NE BIWI SEY POOCHA : "AAJ THO CHICKEN BAHUTH TASTY HAI..KUCH KHAS MASALA LAGAYA KYA?"
BIWI : "KUCH NAHI. THODI SI JAL GAYEE THI... ISLIYE BURNOL CREAM LAGAYA...."




Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"
Banta : Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!



Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !
Jasmeet : Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai.
Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!



Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya ..?



Santa meets his friend Bunta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!



Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta : Kyoo Ji ?
Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.




Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke...
Jasmeet : Phone Mere Liye Tha!



Santa : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.



Santa : Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon...
Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya Leti Hai..!
Banta : Oh Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai.



Santa : Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.
Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.



Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine Kaha I Luv U, To Woh Boli 'Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'



A crow shits on Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
Banta: Koi Fhayda Nahin, Kauwa Toh Udd Gaya ..!



Santa : When I get mad at you,you never fight back.How do you control your anger?
Jasmeet : I clean the toilet bowl.
Santa : How does that help?
Jasmeet : I use your toothbrush!

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