If Microsoft Built Cars
    * A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after that year instead of before it.
    * Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
    * Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this.
    * You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a Car 95 or a Car NT. But then you'd have to buy more seats.
    * Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice as reliable, and five times as fast-but it would only run on 5 percent of the roads.
    * The oil, engine, gas, and alternator warnings lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
    * People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for years.
    * We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.
    * The U.S. government would be getting subsidies from an automaker, instead of giving them.
    * New seats would force everyone to have the same-size butt
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