Ajit Jokes

AJIT: Robert, isko Great Wall of China le jaakar phansi mein laga do,great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi

AJIT:Robert is ko microprocessor may daal do !Bit by bit mar jaayga gaa saala!

AJIT:Robert is ko liquid oxygen may daal do !Liquid issay jeenay nahi day gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi day gaa!

AJIT:Robert, Dayna (Diana) ko thoda khatta khila do, yeh dayna se daynasour bhi ho jayegi, phir extinct bhi...

AJIT:Robert, isey thodi shampane pila do, paheley shame sey, phir pane sey mar jayegaa...

AJIT:Robert, isey peekak paisan pila do, yeh more sey no-more ho jayegaa...

AJIT:Mona daarrling, tum Toni ke saath ghuumna band kar do, nahin to bahut MonaToni ho jayegee...

AJIT:"Robert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool test karaao"
"Kyon boss?""Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai"

AJIT: Maikal, ise liquid helium mein daal ke 440 V pass kar do.Phir yeh superconductor ban jaayega, aur zindagi bhar ticket kaat-ta reh jaayega
.Maikal: Baaas, yeh aadmi to kuch bol hi nahin raha hai. Kya karen ?
Ajit: Ise revaalving chair mein daal do.Pata chal jaayega chakkar kya hai.

Robert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )
AJIT: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert !!

(Scene - Robert gets a sidey to Ajit.)
Robert: Boss, humne sidey ko pakad liya
AJIT:Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do. Aur iske badan par ek sui chubha do.
Robert: Par sui kyon, baass!
AJIT:Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-cide hua hai!

Robert: Boss, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?
AJIT:Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal,aur teesre ka Cha Ling Chu .
Robert: Par Cha Ling Chu kyoon?
AJIT:Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai!

(Scene - Ajit thoroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.)
AJIT:Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Robert: Magar kyoon baas ?
AJIT:Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

AJIT:Robert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aurdebugger istarrt kar do.
Robert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
AJIT:Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.

AJIT:Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Robert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Robert: Yes Boss.AJIT: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai .......

(Scene - Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.)
AJIT:Peter, time bomb le aao aur is kutte ko usse bandh do.Timer ko theek das baje set kar do.Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha late karta hai.Iski maut bhi late honi chahiye. Timer ko panch minute late rakh do.Arre, Robert, Robert, bevkoof, silly fellow, time bomb ko yahan pehmat rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area hai. Ha haa ha.Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega.Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhadkega.Tum agar paas me khade hoge to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup'suanaai dega ..."

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: "Robert, Ise varnish mein daal do,saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.

Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
AJIT: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: "Robert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal do.Saale ko Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne nahin degi.

(Scene - Robert and Ajit are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and water starts coming inside. Robert is perplexed !)
Robert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
AJIT:Robert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me OUT likh do. Ek hole se paani ander aayegaaur doosre se bahar chala jayega !!

(Scene - Ajit get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.)
AJIT: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
AJIT:Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise rangehaathon pakad legi. he he he....

Robert: Boss, ye ladki ne hamari saab bate sun li. Is ladki ka kya kiya jaye?
Ajit: Robert, ees ladki ko maar do, aur iski choli par do traps laga do.
Robert: vo kyon boss?
Ajit: Bevakuf, jub police ko laDki ki laash milegi to police samje gi ke laDki booby trap ho kar mar gayi!!

(After a local bad guy crosses Ajit)
Ajit: Robert, ees aadmi ko maar Dalo aur ees ki laash ke saath aek kela (banana) aur thoDa milk rakh do.
Robert: vo kyon boss?
Ajit: Aare bavekuf, jub police ko lash milegi to police samajegi ke koi cereal killer ne eeska khoon kiya hey.

(Ajit is really pleased with the dinner at a restaurant and wants to compliment and reward the chef)
Ajit: Robert, ye chef ne aachha khan banaya. Tum ees ke ghar jao aur ees ke ghar ki bell nikal do. Bell ki jagah tum peas rakh do
Robert: vo kyon Boss?
Robert: Bevekuf, men ees ko no-bell pea sur prize dena chahta hun

Ajeet: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi jayega

Robert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?
Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?
Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!

(Ajeet spots one of his is enemies)
Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai. Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !

(Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter)
Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett (cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee...on.. off..on.. off
Robert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?
Ajeet : bewkoof...off. .on..off. .on...
Robert: aur boss..iska kya karen ?
Ajeet:Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !

Robert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet :Ek ka naam rakho Peter.... Robert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater.

(Robert and Ajeet go for shikar.Robert spots a peacock...)
Robert: Boss....more. . more...
(Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it )
Ajeet : Nomore !

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