27 January, 2010

Some Humorous News

News Break:

News reported today that the Taliban are using sheep
in Afganistan to detect mines.
They send them into a field and if they're blown up,
they have dinner.
If they make it through alive, they have a date.

Works perfectly.

And here are some trivia in a humourous vein

The speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, or the distance a baby
can crawl when you turn your back.

Some people have no respect for age unless it's bottled.

"I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a
lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'" --Rodney Dangerfield

A preacher phoned the city's newspaper. "Thank you very much," said he,
"for the error you made when you announced my sermon topic for last
Sunday. The topic I sent you was 'What Jesus Saw in A Publican.' You
printed it as 'What Jesus Saw in a Republican' I had the biggest crowd of
the year!"

Did you hear the one about the young woman with the hourglass figure?
Unfortunately, time marches on.

Rodney Dangerfield - in memory

My daughter failed her driver's test. She couldn't get used to the
front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking.
Now I drink in front of a mirror.

My family never bought a pumpkin - they made me stand in the window."

My friends and I play a new version of Russian roulette, we pass around
six girls and one of them has V.D.

My kid drives me nuts. For three years now he goes to a private school,
He won't tell me where it is."

We all learn something New everyday ...

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