14 January, 2010

Jokes to Share

When tears flow in your eyes...

When things go wrong,
When sadness fills your heart,
When tears flow in your eyes,

Just let me know,
Because, I want to be there for you,

My uncle is Selling Tissue Paper
Buy 1, Get 1 Free...

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When Fred found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father would die, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy all the money he would get.

So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother!

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Not too long ago, a large seminar was held for ministers and reverends in training. Among the facilitators were many well-known motivational speakers. One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, ' The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!'

The crowd was shocked. He followed up by saying, 'That woman was my mother!'

The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, 'The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!'

His congregation sat shocked, murmuring. After standing there for almost 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out '...and I can't remember who she was!'

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!

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