01 December, 2007

Little Johnny

A new teacher was trying to make use of her
psychology courses. She started her class by saying,
"Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The
teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there
all by yourself!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother
smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you
do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself
beautiful," said his mother, who then began
removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny.
"Giving up?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was
concerned that his students might be a little
confused about Jesus Christ because of the
Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He
wanted to make sure they understood that
the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago,
that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class,
"Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in
my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously,
blurted out, "I know! I know!
He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at
the teacher, and waited for a response. The
teacher was completely at a loss for a few
very long seconds, Finally, he gathered his
wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.

Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning,
my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom
door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still
in there?!"

> *~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *
The math teacher saw that little Johnny
wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny!
What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS,
HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*
At Sunday School they were teaching how
God created everything, including human
beings. Little Johnny, a child in the
kindergarten class, seemed especially intent
when they told him how Eve was created
out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week
his mother noticed him lying down as though
he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the
matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have
a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have
a wife!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on
a field trip to their local police station where
they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board,
of the 10 most wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if
it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives
want very badly to capture him."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you
keep him when you took his picture?"

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